JUST TONIGHT
"I was at a party surrounded by my closest friends, feeling entirely alone. It hit me: I wasn’t just having a bad day or a bad week. I had been feeling this way for a long time. I was filled with anxiety and despair - I didn’t want to go through it all again. I went downstairs to the kitchen, and one of my friends came down to check on me. I told her everything. Through sharing her own experience, she made me feel empowered to try again.
I left the party soon after and walked home, struggling to carry my feet up the hill to my house. When I reached the top I stopped and looked up - something my dad told me to do whenever I felt truly desperate, just stop and look at everything that immediately surrounds you. Find the beauty in it. I saw the moon in the sky, I felt the soft night on my skin - the summer air was humming and warm. I saw purple dog-violets being bathed in the orange light of a street lamp… in that exact moment I felt alright. I had found a pocket of peace in a brain filled with turmoil. I realised that if I could feel ok for two minutes, then I could feel ok for an hour. If I could feel ok for an hour, then why not a day? "